English is a crazy language by Richard Lederer

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why it is that writers write but fingers don't fing,grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
If you have one goose, two geese, why not one moose, two meese, or one index, two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend,
or that you can comb through the annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital;
ship by truck and send cargo by ship;
have noses that run and feet that smell;
park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites, and quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course, isn't a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when they lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I windup this essay, I end it?

Now I know why i flunked my English. It's not my fault, the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

Lets face it - English is a crazy language.

I LOVE THIS POEM. its so quirky to say the least (: we did it during English class one day. did i mention that i ABSOLUTELY LOVE this poem? (:

go enjoy today everyone! while i waste millions f boxes of tissue blowing my nose off. ):

I WANTED TO MAKE A NEW BLOG BUT I COULDNT THINK OF A NICE NAME. suggestions? so ignore the page where its supposed to describe me cos that was in sec one thank you very much. hahahaha anyway hi iliana's blog returns from the dead. (:
yeah let me see, today was quite a sucky-o day. like i woke up with my butt ACHING and everywhere else aching and then i felt so lethargic and everything. Turns out i've got myself a stinking fever. so i had to miss throwing a stick by the name of "Mr. Javellin" for sports fest trials or something like that and i had to miss a match. patooey man.

Anyway, the past three days have been quite exciting and by becky's words "chillax" (:

We finished our exams on MONDAY, i still cant believe exams are over at times. like i'll be watching tv then like this guilt-ridden image or thought or something will crash my head "WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERES EXAMS!" then i'll panic for a nanosecond and then suddenly i'll be like waitaminute THERE AINT NO MORE EXAMS! WHOO. (:

okay yes so that day was quite awesome, THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE WAS SO CUTE

EXCUSE ME MAMA

this is funny
and i havent updated my songs for what 2 years?!
with minor exceptions of course.\
(:
here goes

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
the take over, the break's over

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
church

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
gone

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
No one (ohmygosh im meant to be a loner)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I need to be in love (HAHAHAHA)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Foreign Language (YES YOU ALL ALWAYS GIVE ME THAT WHATTHEHELLISWRONGWITHHERLOOK WHEN IM HIGH :D)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Shortie Like Me (ohmygosh this is so hilarious, it should be tallie like me)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hey There Delilah

WHAT IS 2+2?
All again for you

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Make believe its your first time (lets take the first time as purely friendship related activities shall we?) HAHA

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Happy Birthday

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Secret Valentine

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
ICEY

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
When it all Falls Apart (how depressing)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Apologise (OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA so appropriate)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Like This

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Look After You (lets haunt eveyone attending!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Girl Can Rock

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
We Taking Over (yeah even my phone knows we own)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Check Yes Juliet

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Damage (crap. this will be one unpleasant death)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
All I Need

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
ride of your life

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
I wanna love you (is my lovelife really meant to suck that bad. gosh)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
stranger

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Hero/Heroine (great i'll be scared by th eperson who saves me. no wonder i die a damaged death)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
We Believe

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Why (yes i dont want to change much)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Bleed it Out (how appropriate)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
excuse me mama

HAHAHA RETARDED. you know my sister? for the wedding song thing she got womanizer. HAHAHAHAHA

i hate the blogger photo uploader so damn slow. (: but anyway here are some of the malaysia photos and videos! (: my camera is quite blurry :(

i like the way you move(:

this is really the last post before america

love you

merry christmas in advance.

(:

whoa so i actually do have the time to post today
okay im all packed and roaring to go. (:
so fustrating that i couldnt go for training today.
pissing lah.
last training also canot go.
dumb dumb dumb.

okay iliana dont dwell on unhappy stuff.
oh i just realised that i like it alot when people say my name in smses. i dont know it sounds nicer or more personal or something. wierd right. hahahaha. i bet you all like it too right! i'll try to use more of people's names from now on in smses
yay me.
(:
i want to eat ben and jerrys!
my sister is waiting anxiously for her ipod nano that idiot. okay so its sorta good for me so i get to use her com while shes waiting downstairs. i think i type fairly fast for someone using two fingers. okay fine three including the spacebar thumb. i dont really know how i do it. (:
im super random today for some reason.

IM WAITING FOR NINE O CLOCK SO I CAN WATCH
小娘惹!

i love the colour dark like erm nice blue on nails. its so pretty dont you think?
but i hate the smell of nail polish its like ughhhh cant stand it. im waiting for my nails to dry yayayayay. whoope i forgot to paint my right hand okay hold ons. (:
damn damn damn im so dead.
nail polish sucks
so messy
oh dear
oh no
pft.


okay yes so i still havent painted my right hand
oh dear even though im born a left hander i think tok tok (my grand father) did the rught thing by forcing me to be a right hander.
i painted my right hand so grossly lah
nearly all the polish is on the skin hahahahaha
sucker
oh gosh why am i talking about this?

i cant wait for tomorrow!
eeeks.
i mean like come on how often does one get to go to AMERIIICAAAAAA.
im going to LA first for four nights then i'll be heading to live with aunty elaine at san francisco!
i cant wait to see adorable josh and isabelle!
love them
oh dear i cant wait
i like aeroplane flights.
so so so fun
yay yay yay
singapore airlines is the bombb.
i am boring myself with this post
i think i shall go play super granny or something
teeheee
(:

LOVE YOU HONEYS.
DONT FORGET TO MISS ME.
i dont think you will(:
teeheee
i sound as ego as dominque from antm
oh gosh i cant stand her so annoying
i love lauren!
okay yes

UNITED STATES HERE I COME!

forget the xoxos (:

the most amazing thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most awesome thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most exciting thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most coolios thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most wonderful thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most lovely thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most gorgeous thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most sexy thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most fantabulous thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.
the most supercalifragilisticexpialidocious thing is going to happen the day after tomorrow.








wait for it















am i being irritating













well i dont care if youre irritated



















this is getting childish















and really like those annoying chain mails where they make you make wishes
















okay fine




















hehehe a while more

















okay now.















IM GOING TO AMERICAAAAA! (: (: (: (:
FRICKING AWESOME STUFF RIGHT. (:

who wants what i'll try to get but no promises(:
okay i have to bathe so anticlimax to the maxxxx
okay ciao(:


xoxo,
you know you love well AMERICA!
:D

hehehehe. i am really really high now because i am eating mini m&ms from my cute little santa m&m figurine(: its really really cute and it has a santa cap and boots and green eyes. and mini m&ms have way more sugar than normal ones so im really really really high(:
oh and im also really really high now because i am going for chunk fest later! (: yay b&js' icecream is the loveeee(: im going with portia and anyone else who wants to come(: and oh oh oh then later we're going her house to playyyy! and have dinner! yaaaaay cant wait her house is like freakishly designerish(: loves. oh dear im becoming like chael and her absence of paragraphs(:

but shes been really nice and started proper paragraphing for two posts! its so much easier to read that way(: love you flower power!(: and oh oh oh okay from the title of this post im supposed to be talking about the fantabulous really super short malaysia trip! wheeee. im thinking of going shopping so much i spelt supposed as shopping at first teehee. oh dear i think talking to nico on the phone with phionna in the background is bad. im being all bimbo and teehee and yay me and stuff pffffft.

anyway these are the first few words that come to mind whne i think of the trip! its in the order i think them kay and they can be really really random! (:
taupok, sausages, rice, handfoot mouth disease (i have a feeling that malaysia is where ivana contracted it), cookies, pillow fights, never been kissed (movie), hot teacher dood, busrides, scandalous, no money, my cute red tee!, friendship bands, dinner with batch, mr ang's crazy antics, lizards, photos, "he likes it big, helikes it chunky", videos, rooming with yong, mouldy bathtubs, oranges (?!), aunty annes, yanping's new shoes, anna's skull emo hot pink and black cap, tanktops, me and yong's matching clothes, jerseys, matches, debriefs, laughter at erm someone that arouses you (cant mention name for safety sake but people like hannah should know especially cos she mentioned it. enough clues? (: ) buffet breakfasts, fever, stupid hotel phones, drying jerseys, being ver very very noisy at 1am, mosquito nets OKAY ENOUGH. (:

HMMM.
okay let me talk about the first day. gah when is my ugly betty going to load. and im hungry):

i woke up double checked my bag blah blah blah okay so we're in school! we get on the bus straight away no more waiting around the foyer like last year. then we invade the staff toilet to pee poo whatever. then when we went back on the bus the bus uncle (uncle ben) was so funny. he was like the red bags behind the seats are for.... then i was like puking? then i think he said er is anyone carsick? hahahahah okay yes not funny now but yes. okay its for rubbish. okay then we waved our parents goodbye and poof! we're off for a whole load of fun! (: okay yes so hmm oh yeah so we talked talked laugh laugh until customs cant really remember what happened already sucks. oh yeah so i went to the shorter queue and blah blah blah. then msia customs blah blah blah. and then we went back on the bus. and we decided to watch a movie on the small tele on the bus! oh yeah i didnt mention that the tourguide was the same as last year's one(: yeah okay then me yong and dee (im calling deanna dee from now on(: i think its better than deanna which i keep confusing for my name when someone calls it :l ) had such a difficult time picking a movie! cos they were all like quite bad. ahahah. i wanted to watch my super exgirlfriend its really funny but i guess not so appropiate so we settled on hancock! quite coolios. hahaha i think chael has influenced me to say coolios and cools and everything else plus an "s" at the back of the word(; yes and oh dear prargraph!

yes so we watched the movie and nearing the end i really really urgently had to pee. i had been holding it back for super long. so the whole bus stopped for me and the movie paused and everyone groaned and i felt so bad. hahaha oh wells. but alot of people got down to pee too so yeah(: okay then i missed a bit of the movie talking and we reached mid valley to shop! was that the first day? oh dear i cant remember. okay assuming that the mid valley shopping trip was on the first day, our batch split into two groups. the shopping group obviosuly comprising of myself, yong angie and our newly added member addy! cool stuff(: okay then we

oh dear i'll continue later love you darlings(:

xoxo,
you know you love leaf